We have all heard it so much that it is now cliché:‘Nice guys finish last’ but seriously do they? Everyone says women want the bad guy, the guy who tosses them around, is the life of the party, loved by everyone and admired by other women. The truth is women are not looking for nice guys. If you want to be with a woman then stop playing the role of her bff. Leave that to her girlfriends. I joke with my friends that when you constantly have to sit through a woman’s make-up session holding her bag all the while, then you might want to rethink your position and where you stand with her.

Remember this: women only keep nice guys as friends and mentally, women find it difficult to date a friend. They are realistic about what happens when love turns sour. They know it permanently damages friendship. Most men on the other hand will date and sleep with anyone provided she is available and beautiful that is why men are more likely to want to be friends with benefits than women. So who are women looking for? The answer is simple. They are looking for a great guy. You have probably heard a woman gasp and say ‘the guy is great’.That is the man to become. A friend of mine was talking to me last week about a guy she likes but he has two problems. The first complaint was that he is too emotional. He cried in front of her and like me, you are probably asking who died or was sick? Nobody.  He is one of those guys who cry over everything. Get a closet dude. The second and most important was the fact that he agrees to everything she says. Women do not want a man who is uncouth, at the same time they do not want a yes man. Women love a man who takes charge. Taking charge involves making decisions. Learning to say NO and standing by it. Trust me I know women who throw tantrums just to test their man. Yes drama queens.

Recently the sad death of real estate investor David Winoker was on T.V. His wife described him in tabloids as a very cautious man who would not even go beyond the speed limit when late. The part of her eulogy that caught the world’s attention was when she said ‘he never said no to me. He should have said no’. She had urged him to go skydiving with friends for a birthday bash and it turned fatal. I use this story to illustrate the need for you to take charge of your life as a man.

Are women attracted to bad boys? Yes. The reason is simple. They are fun and outgoing. They know how to make a woman laugh. They come off as people with a high sense of humor. Who does not want that? Women are drawn to impulsive men. There is a world of difference between spontaneity and recklessness. Women prefer the former. Are you not sometimes dumbfounded when you see a lady you hold in high esteem with a guy you think does not measure up to her class yet it is obvious she is excited to be his girl and is not just settling for next available thing. The guy has got the ‘great’ factor.

Nice guy checklist. You are a nice guy if you check yes to two or more:

  • You suffocate your woman. If you keep calling her and never give her the chance to miss you. Time is an important commodity in a relationship but do not spend it all on her. Learn to give her space. It is during this time that you discover more about yourself too. I will talk about the importance of space in another article.
  • Nervous around women and the ladies call you sweet.
  • Try to impress women instead of just being real.
  • Tell a woman you have feelings for her too early.
  • Never take initiative. Women do not want to be slaves. They like being beside a man who has most things figured out. Do not always ask where do you want to go? Make reservations. Women like surprises. Ok she did not like the last place you took her that is one less place. Try another spot. Be the man. Buy her stuff even when it is not her birthday. (all the ladies say amen)
  • Agree to everything she says or does just to be with her. In the end people who will stay with you will stay. You cannot force love, else your heart will get broken sooner than later. Never be someone’s option when there are several people out there who will treat you as their priority.

    Great guy checklist

  • Will argue with her when she steps out of line without being afraid of losing her. Able to correct in a loving manner and stand his ground when need be.
  • Can hold an intelligent conversation.
  • Never begs a woman to be with him. He makes her want to be with him
  • Lives life on his own terms.
  • Confident in his ability to date women. (Will probably tell you he can date Megan fox if he had the opportunity). No woman wants a man that no other woman wants. The value is gold appreciates only because people want it. The day we stop buying up gold, it loses its value. The day you lose confidence, no one will want you.  Does not let people push him around.
  • Humorous. Show me a humorous man and I will show you a man who will have the ladies coming back. Women love to laugh. Go online, read jokes, customize them to sound original and you will see magic.

Do nice girls finish last? I will not answer that today. However you will agree that guys date the bad girls and usually look for nice girls to marry. More on this issue some other time.