HOW TO KEEP YOUR PARTNER FROM CHEATING

I have been receiving a lot of mails and feedback regarding the articles posted and i want to say thank you. i got a mail from Sharon and the summary reads

Dear Dr love,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5years and we rent an apartment together. He is always chatting online at night after I go to sleep and am sure he is talking to a woman because every time I come around he either closes the page or switches to another page. Do you think my boyfriend is cheating?

Thanks

-Confused Sharon

 

DR LOVE REPLIES: hmmmm let me see?  Did i hang out with you boyfriend last night confused Sharon? The answer is no. You want me to give you a definite answer that resolves your problem. Sadly there is no direct answer. Two things however come to mind. Have you considered the fact that he might have a porn addiction and does not want you to find out so he sneaks out of the room? Secondly maybe he is working online and does not want you to disturb him. OK i see you shaking your head that it is not likely. Let me say this, I am not quick to accuse people until i see hard proof. That is what you need. If your gut tells you he is cheating then you owe it to yourself to find out and not be played a fool. I often hear women say ‘i do not want to know’ but in the end they get to know and it hurts more. Finding out yourself makes it a little easier because you are ready for whatever comes. Find out the truth and if he is cheating then decide if you can live with it or not. There are several devices to track people’s online movement such as …………hehe am not a home wrecker. Research for yourself if you really want to know. Be subtle you do not want your partner thinking you do not trust them. My final submission is simple if it smells like pudding, tastes like pudding, its gotta be pudding.

 

HOW TO PREVENT YOUR PARTNER FROM CHEATING

At some point in our lives, everyone is will be presented with opportunities to cheat. As a result we want to be sure that when such a time arrives our partners are able to deal with it and not falter.

 

1. SPORADIC TABS. I know everyone else says do not keep tabs on your partner but lets face facts, half of the world has done it yet everyone comes out in the open and says it is wrong to touch your spouse’s phone. ‘You are infringing their privacy’. Let me however clarify my position. This suggestion should only be used when you think there is a breach of trust. It is part of evidence gathering. It is not that you do not trust your partner but from my experience it keeps people on their toes when occasionally you just pick up the phone to check text messages. If your partner was considering anyone before they will start to have a rethink.You do this in the middle stages of a relationship and stop after a while. However if you cannot handle the truth and will fly into a jealous rage do not try this.

 

2. COMPLIMENT ALWAYS. Learn to say the right things to your partner. Remember person on the other sides who wants your partner is not only complimenting your partner but probably flattering them. When you tell your partner they look smashing for they leave home, it becomes difficult for someone else to sweep them off their feet with words. Be sincere and always be the first to say how much you love them, the new hair, dress and shoes.

 

3. EXPAND YOUR HORIZON. I once asked a lady what she looks for in a man and the first thing she told me was that he has to be intellectually stimulating. This terminology refers to a man who is able to stimulate her by holding a great conversation. Nobody wants to sit with someone who just stares back. People get bored very easily. The way to become this great person that can capture the opposite sex is by trying new things. Your experiences shape you and give you more things to discuss. Travel, read, learn a new cuisine, know a little about what is going on in your world do not let your life revolve around reality and courtroom shows.

 

4. BE FRESH. One of the traps people fall into is routine. There is a limit to which routine is permitted in a relationship. So my advice is that you stop doing the same thing every day. Freshen things up a little. Do not be too predictable to your partner. Invite people for dinner, go to a new place and try a new hobby together.

 

5. LOOK GOOD. Never get sloppy and never get carried away by the fact that you have gotten the partner of your dreams. Keep the looks you had when you met and learn to upgrade. There is always room for more. Looking good is not about shopping. Am referring to the complete you. Keep fit, dress sharp and be confident about you and your partner will always want to show you off to the world.

 

6. WATCH FRIENDS. The old saying still holds. Birds of a feather flock together. If all your lover’s friends who are known to be promiscuous you might want to subtly get new friends who are couples and place a premium on fidelity and gradually bond alongside your partner with these new friends. Such can help keep you or your lover in check from straying.

 

7. COMMUNICATE. This has been overused by many relationship experts and it makes women believe that they need to keep talking. Communication is a two-way process. You should not just go on talking. You have to look for a convenient time and place. You must be able to study your partner and tell their mood. There are times when your partner will not be in the mood to talk. Even the toughest of people have a time when they want to be held and loved. Learn timing and use it to your advantage.

 

We must constantly upgrade and surpass our lovers’expectations. This way we keep them wanting more of our love.

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