7 Reasons Not to Date a Married Man

I promised to do a follow-up to this article and the oracle spoke to me with a message for the ladies thinking of dating married men. There is something about illicit affairs that just make them tempting. It is just like the forbidden apple on the tree. It looks nice and juicy but a bite will destroy you. I know each time you think of him, your heart skips a bit. You cannot help who your heart chooses especially as men do not relent when they chase a woman but you can decide what is right and wrong.

Truth is illicit affairs are interesting not because the man is the only man in the world but because you are getting a rush out of it. That rush will fade when your get caught. So I have 7 reasons not to date a married man.

  1. ISOLATION: He will not introduce to the most important people in his life and neither can you. Your relationship has no validation from your loved ones. As a woman you will spend holidays such as Christmas alone. Those days are supposed to be special moments that last a lifetime.
  2. ARE YOU READY TO LIVE A SECRET LIFE: In almost every society adultery is frowned upon. So if you are going to be the ‘other’ woman you must also be prepared for the fact that you will not be able to go to public places with this man. He will not let you hold his hands in public let alone kiss him. Every gift you buy for him, he will probably give out to someone else to avoid interrogation by her royal highness at home. He cannot introduce you to his kids, family or neighbour. Except for the few nights he lies that he has to be out-of-town, he will leave you to cuddle your pillow while he goes back to the warmth of his wife.
  3. DATING A MARRIED MAN DAMAGES YOUR REPUTATION: Trust me the walls have ears, besides most philanderer (well that’s what the oracle called  your adulterous married lover) kiss and tell. It’s about conquest for most men. They tell their friends how they are still able to score a single lady despite knowing his marital status. Do not be a part of his statistic.
  4. ONCE A CHEATER: The previous article says it all. In case you missed it, you can go back. If he cheats with you, its only a matter of time before he cheats on you.  Remember that more than 60percent of second marriage fail. If he is able to look the woman he vowed to spend his life with in the eye and lie to her, chances are that he is lying to you.
  5. WASTE OF YOUR TIME AND ENERGY: Unfortunately this is the story of almost every woman who has had an affair with a married man. It takes its toll emotionally and after some time the woman discovers she has wasted the prime of her dating years on nothing but empty promises and date nights in applebees or ihops located in remote outskirts.
  6.  GUILT: If you finally get this man to leave his wife and marry you. Are you ready to wake up everyday and be reminded that you shattered another life to make yours? Families bond through marriages. A former colleague of mine wants nothing to do with his father in-law who helped him when his business was struggling because his ex divorced him and the entire process was nasty. Can you look yourself in the mirror and smile each time the man goes to see his kids or when they are around without telling yourself that you tore that family apart?
  7. YOU LOSE: Cheating men rarely commit. He will leave you high and dry when he begins to feel pressured by you.  You lose. Remember he could not handle his pressures at home and ran to you lying that his wife is his problem. His wife is not the problem. He is not man enough to face his problem that’s all and if his wife finds out he will say you led him on and tempted him. You still lose. You become town slut.

You deserve to be number one in the life of your man. I know he says you are number one when he holds you at night but he will never repeat it to his children or friends and it is only a matter of time before all the hiding begins to take its toll on you and the relationship and suddenly the man who looked like the best thing since God created Leonardo d’ Caprio is no longer that ‘great’ guy anymore. You deserve the best. Go for the best.